I am (Mostly) Agnostic

It is always useful to know the background of your sources of information. When you read my blog, you using me as a source of info (whether you realize it or not). Therefore, I want you to know about my religious beliefs so that you can better judge me and my words.

Monotheism

I was raised Catholic but it didn't stick. I had to go to my Dad's church every Sunday until my parents divorced when I was 10, then I had to go only on the Sundays that I was at my Dad's. My Mom didn't make me go to church. My Mom is... I keep forgetting... Methodist or Presbyterian. (Sorry, Mom, you know I've never been able to remember.)

Church was boring, repetitive. I looked forward to the donuts more than anything. Actually, I did look forward to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve for a while after the regular Sunday services became boring. As I got older, I looked forward to turning 18 so that I would not be "forced" to go to service every Sunday. I was 17 when I finally got to stop.

To this day there is still a tiny bit of a belief in God in me. It is a non-rational belief. In a perfect world, I would be able to completely rid myself of it. However, I cannot deny the influence that religion had on me as a child.

Atheism

As I got older, the pendulum swung to the other end of the spectrum. I saw absolutely no proof in the existence of God; so, I believed that He did not exist. The beauty of a flower, the "miracle" of childbirth, etc. did not convince me that there must be a god. The whole world – from the smallest particle to the largest galaxy – made sense to me without the need for God.

Just as with a belief in God, I still carry tiny bit of this atheistic belief in me. I would also like to completely rid myself of this non-rational belief.

Agnosticism

Gradually, I realized that I was mislabeled. I came to understand that it is impossible to prove the existence of God, that one must have faith instead. (I know that things like childbirth are proof for some people; but, I'm using "prove" in the scientific/logical sense.) The possibility of God was once again opened to me.

Currently

So, today, I have absolutely no need for God, any god. However, He might still exist. Or He might exist only for people who have faith but not for people who don't. Or maybe God doesn't exist but Mother Nature does. I could go on and on listing possibilities. The point is that I am no longer shutoff to various possibilities.

Also today, I like to believe that there is something that continues after death. Some of you might call it a "soul" or a "spirit"; however, I don't know what to call it because I don't know what it is. I "like to believe" instead of simply "believe" because I have no proof; it just makes me feel better. If I am wrong, I'll never know because I won't be around anymore.

(FYI: I have not capitalized "God" and "He" in this blog post not because He might exist but to show respect for my fellow humans that do believe.)